Dual-career couples: Who retires when?.
From a financial viewpoint, a staggered retirement works best, experts say.
from the September 10, 2007 edition
Page 2 of 4
That's no problem for DelMuto, who does laundry. "I like to cook, and I learned how to do the other stuff," he adds.
One working wife with a retired husband told Ms. Dennis, "When I got home, I really expected dinner to be made. He said, 'What's for dinner, dear?' "
"Men are doing more at home, but wives who are still working don't think they're doing enough, such as getting dinner on the table and cleaning," says Phyllis Moen, a professor of sociology at the University of Minnesota.
Conversely, when a wife retires first, other issues can arise.
"If the husband is continuing in his job and his wife is retired, he's quite happy with that situation, because he's got a full-time homemaker now," says Ms. Moen. "She's very unhappy with that situation, because it's putting her back in the role of doing all the domestic work."
Other issues facing couples with staggered retirements revolve around leisure time. The person who is retired may want to travel more, visit grandchildren, or attend Elderhostel, Moen says. Yet constraints on the other person's job make that difficult.
Husbands who 'want a playmate'
Some women feel coerced by their husbands to retire, especially if he is older and ready to start a new chapter.
"The conflict we're dealing with is that the husband wants a playmate," says Elaine Morgillo, president of Morgillo Financial Management in North Andover, Mass. "He wants to retire, and he wants to do things with his wife."
Other wives simply feel obligated to join their retired husbands.
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