A 'girlfriend getaway' unites us

Middle-school friends, decades later, meet to share their lives in Lake Geneva, Wis.

from the September 5, 2007 edition

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"I'd like to not be caring for anybody else," another friend says. "I'd like to see my kids whenever I want to. I'd like my husband to be happy and have things to do – to feel contented in and of himself so I'm free to pursue my interests."

A woman who is still working adds, "I'm a little concerned that my husband and I can find useful things to do with our lives in retirement." Another says, "It's important to have a sense of purpose. Hobbies are so important. And you need to share time with friends."

One woman hopes to continue working part time after she retires next year. "I want to be active," she says firmly.

There are tears as one member of the group tells of her adopted daughter's successful search for her birth mother. More tears flow as another woman shares her anguished longing to reconnect with a wayward daughter.

But laughter returns when one friend says, "I'm surprised by how much I'm turning into my mother. You see so many things you do that are like your mother, and you realize she was right."

Another woman echoes that gratitude for parents. "My folks were always behind me," she says.

A few reflect on the road not taken – and on the bumpy roads they have traveled. Others share a yearning for their adult children's happiness. "We want to protect them from negative things, and yet we can't," says a mother of two. "All we can hope for is that they rebound."

As the conversation winds down, several express appreciation for these long friendships. "I've moved so many times that nobody knows who I am," says one woman. "Old friends like you know me."

Buoyed by the success of the weekend, we decide to hold another girlfriend getaway next year to continue the conversation. We settle on a date and place, then bid our goodbyes with hugs and misty eyes.

As we leave, another friend offers advice that is both heartfelt and upbeat. "Don't waste a single day," she says.

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