Where did all the baby sitters go?

Other parents are turning to online baby-sitting services. Some are small and regional. Others, such as Care.com and SitterCity.com, are national. Providers can describe their background and list their availability free of charge. Parents pay a monthly fee and can request a background check.

"We hand-review each profile," says Sheila Marcelo, president of Care.com. "Providers can post videos of themselves online. It makes it easy for parents to view the videos of the caregivers before they interview them."

Although she calls the Internet "a very efficient way for people to find each other," she adds, "You have to be smart about it, using background checks, screening, references, and interviewing."

One Care.com provider, Amanda Kowitz of Weston, Mass., works full time and baby-sits on weekends. Describing the learning curve some parents face in using online services, she says, "People have interviewed me who have no idea what to ask beyond 'When are you available?' and 'How much do you charge?' "

Some parents, like Ms. Shaham, remain wary of cyberspace connections. "My sister hired a nanny from Craigslist," she says. "But in my experience finding a sitter is still a word-of-mouth thing. That gives people the most comfort. Most of my friends prefer to hire a neighbor."

Some parents even turn to nanny agencies for baby sitters. "Parents today are worried about who they're calling into their home," says Pat Cascio, president of International Nanny Association in Houston.

Whatever means parents use to find sitters, some mothers have a domestic complaint. "It's always the wife's job to get the sitter," says Ms. McLeod. "Women say, 'My husband always wants to go out, but I've got to get a sitter two weeks in advance.' "

Setting a good example is Phillip Tree, a father of five in Grosse Pointe, Mich. Last October, when he and his wife went out to celebrate her birthday, he made arrangements for the sitter.

In addition to the challenge of baby sitters' availability, some parents face another issue: affordability. Costs average between $10 and $15 an hour nationally, Marcelo says.

"Even going to the movies now is a $50 night for us, between the movie, the baby-sitting, and popcorn," says Shaham, who pays $8 to $10 an hour for a sitter. "We're more likely to stay home on a Saturday evening."

Joni Kirk of Moscow, Idaho, agrees. "We don't go out much anymore, which we desperately need," she says. "On occasion we'll take the kids. Time out for dinner alone will add another $15 to $20 to our bill."

But including children doesn't always work. "Whenever we take our baby with us out to dinner, it's just constant care," says Sherman-Risdahl. "When we have our date night, we can relax."

Even those who find the current fees daunting understand the economics. "These people are taking care of our most precious resources: our children," Ms. Kirk says. "We should be willing to pay to have that care given."

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