At book signings, this author is often at a loss for words

Public readings are no problem, but the dutiful act of penning personal inscriptions is harder to muster.

from the April 12, 2007 edition

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It was then that I noticed an ink pad near the cash register. Seizing inspiration, I took it, pressed my thumb into the ink, and transferred my fingerprint to the title page of the book. "There," I said. "Not another one like it." The woman was speechless – but I think she went away satisfied.

I was recently subjected to the acid test when I did a signing and a reader plopped down 18 (!) copies of my book. "They're gifts," she said. "Please write something different in each one."

In light of such a magnanimous purchase, I was in no position to temporize. I began with the usual "best wishes" and "warm wishes," but by the time I had reached the 18th copy, I was wincing at my own lack of inspiration ("Thanks for reading!" – ouch).

I suppose that someday I should sit down and develop a list of inscriptions as if it were a creative work in its own right. If I could refine 40 or so, I'd be set for future readings with a ready repertoire of nice phrases. I think the recipients would be pleased if they compared books and saw that I had written something different and original in each one.

Inscribing a book does not necessarily give it the permanence in someone's collection that I would hope. Not long ago I had the dispiriting experience of finding a secondhand copy of one of my books in a local shop. Not only that, but I had inscribed it to the original purchaser, who was a fairly close friend. This destroyed my conceit that no one would ever sell a book I had signed.

George Bernard Shaw encountered this very dilemma. He once inscribed one of his books "To -----, with esteem." Years later he found the book in an antiquarian bookshop, whereupon he bought it and sent it back to his friend with the addendum, "To -----, with renewed esteem"! Now, why couldn't I have been the first to think of that?

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