'300' is geek mythology

Everything is overscaled in this film adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novel.

from the March 9, 2007 edition

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As in "Sin City," last year's foray into Frank Miller terrain, "300" mixes live actors with virtual backgrounds and computer-generated effects and gussies everything up in harsh colorations. But whereas the palette for "Sin City" was mostly brackish, the visuals here are replete with flaming oranges and burnt umbers. The battles are gaudy with blood. Once the fighting begins, about 45 minutes into the movie, so many heads are severed that I would imagine even Hannibal Lecter, had he been a Spartan, would have gone AWOL.

The Spartans, to a man, are fighting machines who look as if they've been spending quality time on their rowing machines. They look like cover models for "Muscle and Fitness" magazine. When they rampage over the Persians, we might as well be watching a WWE Smackdown, Thermopylae-style: "Leonidas vs. Xerxes!!" Pity there was no pay-per view in 480 B.C.

One longs for a bit of the hyper-feminine to offset all the bellowing and teeth-baring. But Gorgo, the Spartan queen played by Lena Headey, is as much a political animal as her husband. Slinky and patrician, she's a man's-man woman – she understands that only Spartan mothers can deliver Spartan babies.

The filmmakers load the dice somewhat by making Leonidas's kingly adversary such a twit. Xerxes may think he's a man-god but, with his nose and ear ringlets, shaved head, and jewels, he resembles a transgendered cross between Tina Turner and Sabu. Forget war fever. This guy's got disco fever.

I would love to see "300" paired on a double bill with "Apocalypto," another head-rolling contest with mythic pretentions and skimpy brain wattage. Better yet, why not pair it with "The Seven Samurai"? That matchup would definitely be to the advantage of Team Kurosawa. The great Japanese director understood that genuine heroes are not heroic 24/7. They are even capable of experiencing, you know, fear. In the world of "300," fear is the exclusive province of girly men. Grade: C

• Rated R for graphic battle sequences, sexuality, and nudity.

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