Line up estate now, ease burdens later
In an era of divorce and stepfamilies, it is essential to keep wills current - but 60 percent of Americans do not.
from the February 28, 2007 edition
Page 2 of 3
Finkle believes hushed attitudes about estates are changing. Ten years ago, when he and Ms. Baumritter finished their book, publishers liked it but were uncomfortable with end-of-life issues. Today, they sense a growing willingness to address them.
As one way to break the silence, professionals encourage families to start a conversation.
"It's very important to have family meetings where everything is discussed and it is decided who gets what," says Matthew Tuttle, a certified financial planner in Stamford, Conn. "Often parents make the mistake of leaving things out of the will that cause fighting later. Also parents make the mistake of splitting an illiquid asset like a home, where one child might want to keep it and the other might want to sell it. Family meetings can take care of these issues."
Such conversations might have saved a Massachusetts family from what one daughter, Ann D., of Plymouth, describes as "a lot of heartbreak and discord" among seven siblings because her mother wrote a generic will.
"She left nothing specific to any of us except the youngest boy, who gets her new car," says Ann, who does not want to use her last name because of the strife. Her mother decreed that household possessions must be distributed by a complicated lottery system. The house is to be sold and the money split seven ways. Ann adds, "When we asked her occasionally what she was going to do with all her stuff, she just said, 'You can all fight over it when I'm gone.' "
Preventing acrimony is essential, says Les Kotzer, an estate lawyer and author of "The Family War: Winning the Inheritance Battle."
Fighting over Dad's watch
"Some of the biggest fights we see are over personal items," he says. "We call it fighting over the memories – Dad's watch, Mom's wedding ring, Grandmother's gramophone that's been in the basement for 40 years."
Although there will never be total equality when it comes to splitting up personal items, Mr. Kotzer says, "You'll lessen the battle if Mom and Dad have discussed this with you. Sometimes just give it up and get on with your life. Is that china, that ring, that clock worth paying the price of losing your family?"
RSS feed
