I thought I had the yielding-to-God's-will thing down.
It hasn't always been this way. But these days, it's become second nature to listen for God's direction. I've learned to set aside my sense of timing, or the way I think things should pan out, and let God show me what He has in store. And when I start feeling pig-headed about something? Well, it's not always easy, but I'm getting better about turning to God in those situations and praying, "Thy will be done" (Matt. 6:10).
For me, wanting to do God's will, to yield to God's will, has come about only as I've gotten to know God better. As I've come to understand Him. To trust Him and to love Him.
For instance, as I've read "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mary Baker Eddy, a book that helps unlock the Bible, I've learned that another name for God is divine Love (see p. 465). In other words, saying, "Thy will be done" is actually asking that Love's will be done.
That's changed the way I think about God's will.
If it's the will of Love, how could it be anything but tender, kind, and supremely generous? And because Love is synonymous with Mind, this will must not only be loving, it must also be intelligent. It has all the wisdom of Mind behind it, all the might of omniscience impelling it.
While I've loved this idea of God's will in relation to taking a new step or trusting God with my future, I'd never actually thought about it in the context of healing. So my first response when a Christian Science practitioner asked me to consider it with her? I have to admit: "Huh?"
I'd called this person for help because I'd been struggling with debilitating internal pain for several hours. And she said she'd pray for me – right away. But as I said, she also asked me to do something. She wanted me to think about the idea that there's only one will. Not mine, but God's.
I couldn't really get traction with this idea at first. It seemed so unrelated to what I was dealing with – physical pain, not turmoil over a fork in the road. But here's what had stuck with me from our conversation: The fact that God's will is 100 percent good. Period. So that's where I began.
I reasoned that one will, the will of God, omnipotent good, meant I didn't need a will of my own. It meant God was taking such good care of me that I didn't need to inform Him how to be God. It meant that, in fact, I didn't need to inform Him of anything. It meant I was already perfect, already cared for, already whole. Instead of wishing for a healing, my job was simply to rest in the Love that already knew (and had supplied) my every need, including perfect health, peace, and well-being.
The more I thought about this idea, the more I loved it. And I realized how willful I'd been throughout my prayers that afternoon. Unconsciously, of course, but the willfulness had been there. I'd been oscillating between affirming that there was only one will and essentially begging God to please do something because I am in agony. As though God wasn't already on the job!
In fact, that was the turning point. The moment I admitted that this experience was not about willing God to do anything but about surrendering to the omnipotence of divine Love, the pain melted away. God's will for me was completely good! I was healed.
As for the "one will" thing, well, now I know that it applies to every aspect of my life. Now I know it means trusting God's supreme goodness not just when it comes to my future, but also for my day-to-day needs. This healing taught me that praying "Thy will be done" – and really meaning it – doesn't make God sit up and pay attention, but it does allow God's reality of good to appear in my life. One hundred percent good.