In dorms, men and women now room together

She hears that most of the male-female roommates are strictly platonic. Those in romantic relationships, she suspects, probably want their space and wouldn't risk being stuck in a tiny room after a breakup. "If not, it's a lesson to learn."

"College-age people make their own decisions about sexual behavior, and living arrangements have never done much to enable or prevent that," Ms. Duffy adds.

Administrators at the University of Southern Maine say some parents actually requested the arrangement so that siblings and relatives could share a room.

Research finds cross-gender friendships are more common among young people. A 2002 survey by American Demographics and Synovate found that 18-to-24-year-olds are almost four times as likely as those age 55 and over to have a best friend of the opposite sex. More than 10 percent of those ages 25 to 34 reported their closest friend to be of the opposite sex.

In a study published in 2000 by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, more than a quarter of participants reported having sex with a friend of the opposite gender. Most continued to be friends.

Few colleges have been willing to take gender integration to the room level. Harvard University has been only considering the move off and on for years, a spokesman said.

Meghan Grizzle, a Harvard student, is concerned that sexual abuse or rape may rise in these living arrangements. She also writes for Modestly Yours, a blog that argues for a return to sexual modesty. "If women aren't respecting themselves in the way they dress and the way they act, then men aren't going to necessarily feel the need to do it either," she says.

For Christian colleges, concerns about sex outside marriage have kept most from going as far as secular schools in mixing genders in dorms. While it's not unheard of for Christian colleges to have opposite genders on different floors of the same dorm, most opt for separation by wing or even building, says Greg Leeper, associate dean of students at Trinity International University in Deerfield, Ill.

"We need to provide for solid parameters and accountability, and that expresses itself through separate living spaces, while encouraging positive interaction as well," says Mr. Leeper, who cites room visitation hours and 24-hour common areas as opportunities for Trinity students to build relationships.

Most of the schools allowing men and women to room together have liberal reputations, including Swarthmore in Pennsylvania, Hampshire College in Massachusetts, and Sarah Lawrence College in New York.

In the past year, some state schools like the University of California at Riverside have joined them.

When asked if living together has brought sexual tension into their friendship, Mr. Danzig said "no" flatly, and Dewar said the same, emphatically. Neither report any awkward or indelicate moments, but when both genders use the same bathroom on the floor not much remains secret. Dating neighbors – known as "hallcest" or "dormcest" – is courting disaster given such close quarters, says Danzig.

"I have a variety of female friends – many are entirely platonic, some of them I am attracted to," says Danzig, who sees Wesleyan's rooming policy as an extension of the school's rejection of traditionally defined notions of gender. "There's less pressure to behave the way that stereotypically males and females are supposed to behave."

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