Part 7 • False hopes

(Page 4 of 5)

"Sometimes when we try to hit the American soldier or Iraqi soldier, sometimes we kill women and children in this operation," said Abu Nour at one point. "We don't want to ..., but this is war."

Periodically, Abu Nour would tell me people were calling for my release. He would never say whether this was good or bad.

Throughout my ordeal, my captors would make oblique references to what I later discovered were organized appeals on my behalf. For example, Abu Nour wanted to know if I knew the leader of Hamas, the Palestinian militant group. I thought it was another test of my character. Later, I learned Hamas had issued a statement condemning the kidnapping of civilians.

When my father and mother made their first televised statements, Abu Rasha said, "Your father and mother say, 'Hello' to you."

"Very good man, good man, your father," he said.

It was clear that whatever my parents had said on TV had made a good impression.

One day Abu Nour arrived, and said that five women detainees had been released. This was important, and good news, he said.

	GOING HOME: Two of the five Iraqi women released from a Bagdhad detention center were driven home on Jan. 26. US officials said the release was not related to the demands of Jill's captors. Hadi Mizban/AP

"This is Step 1," he said. "Now we have to go to Step 2."

He wanted me to make another video, and ask for the release of all Iraqi women prisoners.

I was crushed. Another video meant days or weeks of waiting for it to air, then waiting for a reply. The black-eyed leader - someone who I thought never saw me as a person, despite the chocolates he brought from Baghdad - now thought he had something really valuable. The last thing they were going to do was let me go.

It wasn't until later that I figured the release of the five women had helped by making it harder to justify killing me.

PART 7 • FALSE HOPES    1 | 2 | 3 | Page 4 | 5 |   Next page