States prod schools to teach relationships

The idea touched something deep in Mr. Kvamme. Immediately he began lobbying the legislature, and in 2002 celebrated passage of a bill requiring the state to publish a handbook similar to Florida's.

Mr. Kvamme then turned his attention to the second phase, classes for high school students. The curriculum will focus on communication and conflict resolution skills, financial responsibilities, parenting responsibilities, and domestic violence.

"Part of why I did this was just for social reasons," Kvamme says. "I was a single parent and I saw firsthand the effects of divorce on kids," which he lists as increased risk of teen pregnancy, greater chances of juvenile delinquency, and probability of lower scholastic achievement.

Not to mention the cost of divorce on state budgets. He says his research revealed that Florida spends $2.3 billion annually for divorce-related welfare, law enforcement, legal costs, and social work. In 2003, Washington recorded 39,679 marriages and 26,710 divorces. That's 73 divorces a day.

In order to pass the family preservation bill, supporters removed a requirement that would have forced schools to teach the curriculum. Many legislators were loath to pass a mandate that also did not provide necessary funding. It passed with only one legislator opposed.

"We teach our students everything in the world - except healthy relationships," says Dr. Les Parrot, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University. "Not until recently have we devoted scholarly attention to relationships."

Along with Leslie Parrot, his wife and a family therapist, Dr. Parrot teaches two popular relationship courses at SPU, even though it was met with resistance from the administration when they first wanted to teach the classes 10 years ago. Until recently, Parrot explains, researchers thought love was too "mushy" a topic for academic study. But that has changed.

"We know from research that students that get information on relationships fare better in their relationships," he says.

Not all Washington lawmakers embraced the bill. Although Tacoma Rep. Steve Kirby eventually voted for the measure, he was a vocal opponent of the Kwamme's bill because, he said, it was too vague. "I live in a blended family. I'm divorced. I've got a kid in the seventh grade and I don't need for him to go to school and hear criticism of ... his kind of family."

Some students see the classes not as opportunity for criticism, but as a place to discuss and learn how to navigate an adult world. Monica Milburn, a senior at Sumner High School east of Tacoma, testified in favor of the legislation.

"A lot of kids come from single-parent families, and maybe their parent just doesn't have the time to teach them ... how to use a credit card, or what to do when they have a baby," she stated. "The family is the basic unit of society, and this bill gives kids a better chance to know how to operate in a family."

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