How to pen an Oscar speech
Congratulations! You are an Oscar nominee, which means weeks of frenzied fun getting ready for your big night: new clothes, new shoes, snazzy limo - no detail is too small for your attention. But here's the bad news: If you win, you have to say "thank you." In front of oh, a billion people, give or take a few million. Curiously, if you are like many Oscar nominees, "write world-class acceptance speech" just isn't anywhere on your "to do" list.
You may take small comfort from the fact that you are not alone. The words, "I don't have anything prepared..." have fallen from the lips of more than a few gobsmacked winners. Oscar history is littered with incoherent, mumbled, and just plain bad acceptance speeches. Greer Garson, for example, spoke for nearly seven minutes. In a mere 45 seconds, Renée Zellweger managed to utter "uh" and "um" more than 23 times. Diane Keaton even swore.
Perhaps not surprisingly, as audiences have begun to tire of the endless parade of award shows in which the winners seldom say anything memorable, TV producers have decided to lay down the law. At the annual nominees luncheon recently, Oscar producer Gil Cates announced that winners better not pull out that little piece of white paper full of endless names. "If you do," he told them, "you're done." His advice: "Just say one unexpected thing."
But how is a nominee, either accustomed to being behind the scenes or speaking words written by others, to heed such advice? Forget your hair and nails, for just a moment or two, says LeeAundra Temescu, a presidential-speech analyst. "Style is certainly important," says the media guru, "but these artists could afford to spend just a few moments thinking about the substance of their appearance. I'd love it if they would think about this as an opportunity to present themselves to the largest audience they're ever going to have."
Kirwan Rockefeller, a professor of pop culture at the University of California at Irvine, has a few tips for making the most of the few seconds behind the winner's podium. Speak from the heart, he says, pointing to 2002 Best Actress winner, Halle Berry, as a great example.
"Berry's speech was poignant and full of emotion," he says, adding that viewers are longing to hear something - anything - personal from their favorite stars. "A little surprise lightens things up," he says, citing the example of Shirley MacLaine's "I deserve this" speech, or the moment when Barbra Streisand looked at her new Oscar statuette and said, "Hello, gorgeous."
While crying on cue is certainly a skill most actors have, real tears are even better. "Everybody loves to see an Oscar winner cry and be humble and be really surprised," says Mr. Rockefeller. "Don't act like you knew it was coming all along. Tom Hanks's acceptance speech for 'Philadelphia' was really touching."
Most observers agree on a basic list of no-no's. Nearly everyone agrees that James Cameron's infamous, "I am King of the World" speech - after his win for "Titanic" - stands as a cautionary tale of what not to do. While Hollywood may tolerate excesses on the set, the industry does not like to reward even the appearance of shameless egomania in public.
Beyond that, cracking a joke is great, but flopping in front of a global audience is not. "Don't pretend you're a humorist if you're not," says Bill Lampton, a communications expert.
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