Indian love songs croon of dwindling role for parents

Judging by the typical Bollywood film song - that syrupy confection of boy-meets-girl doled out in almost every movie made here - India must be the most romantic country in the world.

Indians have as many words for "love" as the Inuit have for "snow." Songwriters choose from the many subtle variations: pyar (affection), mohabbat (love, in Urdu), prem (love, in Hindi), ishq (passion), or even junoon (obsession).

These sweet nothings are timeless, but the lyrics surrounding them have changed dramatically. In the 1950s, boys and girls would pine for each other, but accept their parents' or society's better judgment. Today's lover lives and dies by his or her own mistakes or inner faults - immaturity, pride, poor dress sense - and the modern concept of love is spreading at the speed of sound to cities and villages, on radios and music videos, and into the minds of the humming masses.

The result, cultural watchers and filmmakers say, is a country teetering between its traditional rules and the giddy individualism of the West, with profound effects on India's urban youth.

"This is the first generation that believes that tomorrow will be better than yesterday," says Santosh Desai, president of the advertising firm, McCann Erickson, in New Delhi. "There's this sense that the world is opening up with the lifting of constraints. There is an unspecific optimism, and one part of it is economic, but the other part is the lifting of mental barriers."

Consider the societal change implied in these lyrics, translated from Hindi.

In the 1950s, songs warned against falling in love, because of what people would say. "Be careful lest the world see us together/ and our love will become a story for people to tell," went one popular tune.

By the 1980s, young people were ready to defy the world, at least in the films of Bollywood. "I'm a lover, you're a lover/ so what are mommy and daddy to us/ the whole world is useless," another song proclaimed.

And in the 1990s, filmmakers were pushing the outer boundaries of taste. "What's behind your blouse?" sang a hero in one infamous tune. "My heart," the heroine replied. (Perhaps the proper response would have been "one tight slap.")

As India's predominant form of entertainment, Bollywood songs are crucial to the social research conducted by advertisers like Mr. Desai. He wants to be sure his spots for Coca-Cola and other companies are speaking to the current mind-set of India's prosperous youth.

Until recently, most Indian youths let themselves be defined by their families. Respect for elders was paramount, therefore a son could not add to the family's name or fortune, he could not outdo his father for fear of shaming him. Ironically, Desai says, a good son could only make mistakes.

"Today, all that has changed. So many parents are bewildered by the choices their children have, especially in terms of jobs," Desai says. "Therefore the ability to assert their authority is reduced. How do you tell your children what to do if you don't understand what the choices are?"

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