DNC party games for your home

It's the third day, and they should really be wrapping things up by now. After all, we're used to things coming in threes. At least, that's what my local multiplex has taught me. But, for some reason, the Democrats have decided to do in four days what they could have done in three. I suppose they needed the time to ensure that former Democratic presidential nominees George McGovern, Walter Mondale, and Michael Dukakis were recognized, or that Democratic presidential candidates like Al Sharpton and Bob Graham would have their say.

To be fair, the Reverend Al gave a crackerjack speech - one of the few interesting highlights in an evening largely filled with dead air. So my attention really started to wander, especially during the first two hours of the convention, and I started thinking: what can I do to make sure that all the other television watchers for the last night of the convention - and for the Republican National Convention - can have a good time, even when the excitement isn't quite there. And so, without further ado, here are five political convention games you can play at home!

1. Outline your pitch for "Democratic National Convention: The Movie" or "DNC: The Mini-Series." I'll get you started. How about a romance blossoming between two of the delegates? Maybe between a young, star-struck Deaniac, still clinging to her tattered hopes of a strong presence of the liberal wing of the party, and a Kerry hack, hating himself for having openly guffawed when Dennis Kucinich came calling.

Will they run across the floor of the Fleet Center, blatantly disregarding the reasoned and dulcet tones of Bob Graham, and embrace to the muffled cheers and faint applause of the delegates of Wyoming? And will they have a child who will grow up to balance strong fiscal stewardship and commitment to free trade with social nets for the poor and unfortunate? For that, you'll have to wait for the sequel.

2. Play pundit at home. It's easy, and oh-so-much fun! There are a variety of games you can play to make yourself sound just like the people you hear on CNN - or better! Here's just one, something I like to call "pick the leading metaphor." That's where you take a random concept and try to shoehorn everything into it.

Take Shakespeare, for example: John Shalikashvili as Coriolanus, the old soldier who wants peace; Al Sharpton as Lear's Fool, the man in motley who speaks truth to power. Or the Bible: Shalikashvili again, or Steve Brozak as political Sauls of Tarsus, whose Republican scales have fallen from their eyes. Or even sports: pretty much anyone as Lou Gehrig, who stands before an adoring crowd and says how lucky he or she is to be here tonight, or John Kerry as the dogged but unbowed Seabiscuit overcoming insurmountable obstacles, like his apparent lack of appeal to actual voters.

Page: 1 | 2