Hey kid - you wanna buy a ...

"These list brokers work by stealth," says Mr. Ruskin. "No one even knows this is happening. Children are naturally more trusting than adults, and that trust is often easy to exploit."

Repeated calls to two of the best-known list brokers, American Student List and Student Marketing Group, were not returned. But Doug Wood, general counsel to both the Association of National Advertisers and the Advertising Research Foundation, spoke up in list brokers' favor. Banning them, he says, would be discriminatory and a violation of the First Amendment.

He doesn't even favor an "opt out" feature similar to the Do Not Call Registry for telemarketers."There would be a huge rush of parents who sign up out of ignorance," Mr. Wood explains. "Some of the things they sell to kids are valuable. The fact that we are a nation of sellers is not necessarily a bad thing."

But Wood, who has three children, does concede that list brokers might want to tweak their approach: "They could do themselves a favor by being more open," he says.

The Children's Listbroker Privacy Act will be heard sometime before October, says Courtney Schikora, press secretary for Senator Stevens. That may not be soon enough for some activists, but most are encouraged that politicians are listening.

"The fact that Congress is taking seriously what's happening to kids is a really important step," says Diane Levin, professor of education at Wheelock College in Boston and author of six books, including "Remote Control Childhood."

"Commercial culture has gotten out of control," adds Dr. Levin. "It affects who kids are, who they are becoming, how they handle money, how they want to look ... even some 4-year-olds I know are demanding 'belly-button shirts!' "

To which, Wood and many industry insiders might ask: "What's wrong with saying 'no'?" Instead of pointing the finger at corporations, Wood says, the blame should be directed at parents who let their kids push them around.

Becky Benson concurs. The Minnesota mom, who doesn't subscribe to cable TV or allow her preteen daughters to use e-mail, believes some parents simply aren't doing their job.

"Instead of asserting their authority, they give in to their kids," she says. "Saying 'no' is the most powerful way to keep things under control."

Also helpful in keeping things under control, says Wood, are regulatory agencies and laws already in place. He says the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) of 1998, which shields children 13 and under from Internet advertising, is effective, as are the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and the Children's Advertising Review Unit (CARU).

"These are respected and legitimate organizations, and they have a 96 percent compliance rate from advertisers," Wood says.

These groups have good intentions, but they can't do it all, says Lisa Flythe, a new employee of the Motherhood Project, who previously worked for MTV and also developed written commercial guidelines for Nickelodeon.

"The volume of material and the number of outlets and opportunities have increased dramatically," she says. "Even with their best efforts, they can't possibly monitor all the questionable material out there."

Of course, the monitoring job can start with parents, says Susan Linn, a child psychologist and instructor at Harvard Medical School. They can take TVs out of kids' bedrooms, limit screen time, and say "no." But to think that moms and dads can do it all, she adds, is naive.

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