When no place feels like home

Ms. Cottrell says many reported experiences of a "prolonged adolescence." Some were unable to make decisions about where to live or what career to pursue. TCKs can be reluctant to "settle down" and they often end relationships at the slightest sign of trouble.

Adult TCKs say all the abrupt goodbyes during sensitive adolescent years left them with unresolved grief and insecurity. In addition to a new school and a new culture, each move brought a freshly broken heart.

"I've had four or five best friends," says Neils, a 17-year-old ISB student. "Every year a new friend, and then they just move. I do make new friends, but I know they won't last." So now, he says, he withdraws a little more to build an emotional shield.

Even the US State Department has recognized the potential for trouble. Its Family Liaison Office has a website that directs TCKs to a Washington support group called Around the World In A Lifetime (AWAL) and warns, "Interpersonal relationships are more likely to be left behind during a move than resolved, depriving TCK's of 'practice' in a very important life skill."

Neils is taking "Cross Cultural Communication," a course designed by teacher Jim Westgate to help prepare students for life after high school. Instead of giving tests, Mr. Westgate asks teenagers here to write essays about their feelings. His filing cabinet is stacked with papers that reveal confusion and loneliness. One student wrote: "I would like to believe enough scar tissue has been built up and that I will not feel sorrow at future separations, but in truth I know I will."

Despite the difficulties, however, adult TCKs seem to agree that the benefits of their lifestyle outweigh the negatives. Cottrell's research confirmed that TCKs are more successful in school and careers than their American counterparts. While only 21 percent of Americans graduate with a four-year university degree, 81 percent of expatriate kids go on to earn at least a bachelor's degree. Half of those will take a master's degree or doctorate. Most will also achieve higher-ranking professions and many will enter service careers with the aim of helping developed countries.

A tour of the palatial ISB campus explains these results. The school, set amid sprawling lawns and fountains, has high-tech gadgets and facilities that public-school principals in America can only dream about. More than 1,700 students (K-12) have access to classrooms with 850 computers; 60,000 books; videos and CDs; a 750-seat theater, and seven illuminated tennis courts.

There are 10 students for every faculty member. The teachers are mostly American, as is the curriculum. Field trips include archaeological digs, a visit to NASA headquarters in the US, or ecotrekking in Bhutan.

"This kind of education is not available to your average kid in the US," says physics teacher Ian Jacobs.

"We just don't see the kinds of problems that are plaguing Western education - violence, truancy, poor discipline," he says. "I wouldn't even know what to do with a student who acted out. It just hasn't happened here."

Little wonder that American universities line up for the chance to recruit students from ISB and international schools like it elsewhere. Graduates here routinely end up at schools such as Yale, Harvard, and MIT.

Parents who could not afford to send their children to a school of such caliber in the United States have access to ISB because their employers pay for - or subsidize - education costs as long as the family remains overseas. That fact alone is what keeps many parents on the move.

ISB works hard to ensure that the opulent surroundings do not leave students isolated from the country in which they reside. Each high school student must do at least 40 hours of community service to graduate - and most do more.

The volunteer work in orphanages, slums, and homeless shelters only adds to the perspective these students have already gained simply by attending classes with kids from 50 different countries.

"It is my plan for the future to help spread the knowledge I have acquired," one student wrote to Westgate in his final essay. "If the world understood these [cultural] differences, then there would have been less wars fought in the past and less lives wasted."

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