When joblessness persists

For the first three months he was out of work, Luis Vega avoided the networking scene. But when the electrical engineer hadn't been called for a single interview, he realized he was losing his conversational skills.

Now, with his knees tucked under a scuffed-up wooden Sunday school table, he's exchanging business cards with other job seekers. Since January, Mr. Vega has been coming to this weekly meeting, held in a peach-colored room at Foxboro's First Baptist Church.

"I got into a routine of getting up in the morning and checking the Internet, and the next thing I knew, the day was gone," Vega says during a break for some tea in the church kitchen. "I was pretty down before I started coming here.... Coming here keeps me going."

Vega's story is all too familiar to those coping with long-term unemployment. The stages often include isolation while griev- ing the loss of a job, an internal struggle to put ego aside, and finally, a willingness to seek expert advice - and to try new strategies.

When they do start talking to each other, the unemployed find common threads in their stories - stories of frustration as health insurance runs out and bills pile up, stories of prayer and of plowing through motivational books, stories of downsizing from a six-figure lifestyle, and sometimes coming out happier on the other side.

Knowing they're not alone, however, is a double-edged sword, because it forces them to acknowledge a rising level of competition for every open position.

That competition can become a prolonged affair. Of the nearly 8.8 million Americans who are officially unemployed, about 2 million have been looking longer than six months, the highest rate in 10 years, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Before the formal introductions, the humorous chatter around the networking table hints at the desperate straits people envision when they're jobless. One woman mentions a study looking for paid volunteers, but in the fine print, she says, it asks you to live at a lab for 72 days. "Who would pick up the mail?" she jokes.

These drop-in meetings cost $10 a week and are hosted by WIND (the name stands for Wednesday Is Networking Day, though this branch, south of Boston, meets on Thursdays). A table in the church lobby is covered with binders full of contacts at local companies, and a bulletin board announces upcoming skills workshops.

Some prefer to meet with the same people week to week, to exchange not just job-search tips, but emotional support as well.

"Attention to the emotional and mental part is so important," says Diane Wilson, a career consultant in Chicago who is writing a book on long-term unemployment.

There's only so much that family members can do, she says. "Sharing your anxieties with people who are dependent on you can be really counterproductive.... I've heard wives or husbands say, 'I'll do anything - wash the car, take care of the kids - but don't let me have to sit through [and listen to] another interview experience my [spouse] had.' "

Being accountable to a group also keeps the gears moving during a job search - counteracting the desire to procrastinate. Martha Plotkin, who counsels small groups at Boston's Jewish Vocational Service, tells of one woman who kept putting off writing a cover letter.

Finally, a member of their "Success Group" said she would call her midweek to check in.

That did the trick. "It's very simple stuff, but having the support of people you've gotten to know ... makes such a difference," Ms. Plotkin says.

People should start networking as soon as they lose a job, experts say, but often they don't.

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