Forgive and your health won't forget
New research on forgiveness is spurring a shift in the medical treatment of patients.
There's no getting around it - forgiveness is good for you and holding a grudge is not.Skip to next paragraph
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While many people believe that to forgive someone is to let that other guy off the hook, maybe undeservedly, evidence is mounting that it's the one who stops holding a grudge who finds a new lease on life - and on health and well-being.
A growing body of research reveals that those who are forgiving not only have improved relationships, but fewer health problems and lower incidence of the most serious illnesses.
To be angry is not good for your health, says Herbert Benson, president of Harvard's Mind/Body Medical Institute. "Hatred is a banquet until you recognize you are the main course." Forgiveness reduces anger and stress, and 60 to 90 percent of all the business that comes to physicians is stress-related, he says.
Research also shows that people who receive training in forgiveness experience significant reduction in depression, and gain in self-confidence, vitality, and hope.
With such promising results, forgiveness, along with other mind-body research, is encouraging a fundamental shift in the treatment of patients and in the training of doctors, psychologists, and other caregivers.
The benefits of choosing forgiveness accrue in everyday life as well as in treating those in the most severe circumstances. For instance:
• After six years of deep hurt and hatred over a nasty divorce, Catherine O'Brien, a video producer at Stanford University, says she "was liberated by forgiving." A friend weary of listening to her grievances gave her a tape on forgiveness by Fred Luskin, a Stanford psychologist. When she listened to it, she says, "it was a light-bulb moment - it changed everything." She was able to get rid of her bad feelings, reestablish a relationship with her ex-husband, and, she adds, learn not to take things so personally in other situations.
• At a residential center for men with difficult cases of drug and alcohol abuse, a recent six-week training project in forgiveness showed significant results. Patients in the center's traditional rehab program improved but remained clinically depressed.
Those in forgiveness training "went from severe and moderate depression to a nondepressed state," says Robert Enright, professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. Four months later a retest showed the latter maintained their health and "were much more confident they would avoid drug abuse in the future."
Dr. Enright, who is considered "the father of forgiveness research," began the first scientific studies in the late 1980s into a topic long considered the domain of religion. The latest research sponsored by the university's International Forgiveness Institute (IFI) shows the potential of forgiveness in treating particularly challenging cases:
• After a 12-week forgiveness program in Rio, Wis., sixth graders with high levels of anger became less angry, began cooperating in class, had fewer detentions and suspensions, and improved their grades, in comparison with a control group. The aim is to treat such children without using drugs.
• At Mendota Mental Health Center in Madison, men with mental illness who had committed serious crimes participated in a year-long forgiveness project. Usually such men cannot feel a sense of empathy toward their victims, Enright says. They were helped to look backward and forgive someone who had abused them in the past. "This gave them hope and higher self-esteem, and helped them understand [the feelings of] their victim; some have begun developing a sense of sorrow for what they've done," he says.
Mara Alper, a TV producer from Ithaca College in New York who is working on a documentary, interviewed four of the men during the project and a year later. "Forgiving seemed to defuse a huge amount of negative energy that was stored up," she says. "They felt much calmer, much slower to anger, and able to deal better day to day with their emotions. They are still, though, finding it hard to forgive themselves."
Enright says the IFI has also just completed the first study ever to show a cause-and-effect finding regarding physical health. Other studies have demonstrated relationships between forgiveness and health, but their project with cardiac patients at the Veterans Administration hospital showed significantly improved heart functioning three months following a 12-week forgiveness program.