Iraq: Unsanctioned Voices

But the immediate goals of its leaders, which included the young Saddam Hussein, were political vengeance and consolidation. The party persecuted communists, those loyal to a competing pan-Arab leader, members of the country's small Jewish community, and even dissident Baathists. Many were accused of spying for Israel or Iran.

Some were hanged in public, others shot dead and strung up. Ahmed remembers that year because he went to Baghdad's Liberation Square to see the bullet-ridden corpses for himself. He describes the scene dispassionately; the regime's threat was still personally distant.

But in the early 1970s, during his first year at university, Ahmed was "in touch" – not "involved," he emphasizes – with an Islamic-oriented political group.

One day, members of the group began to disappear. Most were jailed for several months and then released. Some were killed. The hand of the regime, which by now had Hussein as its behind-the-scenes strongman, had nearly grasped Ahmed.

Ahmed's parents took steps to dodge the crackdown, seeking to protect their two sons from arrest. He and his family are Shiite Muslims, as are the majority of Iraqis. But as a result of the divide-and-rule policies of the country's Ottoman and then British overlords, the Sunni Arab minority has dominated the politics of modern Iraq. The secular Baath party has never tolerated Shiite political activity aimed at promoting an Islamic state.

The family moved away from their predominantly Shiite neighborhood. They also burned their books – anything political, philosophical, or religious. "We shrunk ourselves back," he says.

During this time, just as he was deciding on a career, Ahmed realized that surviving the regime would be his life's most severe challenge. But he also saw that survival did not have to mean support.

While at university, Ahmed was advised to join the Baath party in order to win permission to study abroad. He refused and stayed in Iraq. "I didn't want to be used against my friends, my family," he says, referring to the intentions of party leaders. "They want to use you, they want you to be their eyes."

After earning a master's degree in 1976, Ahmed completed 18 months of compulsory military service. Then he found another way to reject the regime: He declined to work for the government and found a job in the Baghdad office of a foreign company. As in many developing countries, joining the bureaucracy in Iraq is considered a path to a secure and prestigious future. But Ahmed knew he would never advance to a senior position without becoming a Baathist. He also believed that working for a foreign company would allow him a greater measure of privacy and autonomy. It did, but not right away.

In 1979, Hussein became president and quickly led Iraq into a bloody, eight-year war of attrition with Iran. During the 1980s, Ahmed spent another 7 1/2 years in the Army.

Shortly after Ahmed was forcibly called up in 1982, an Army officer suggested that he join the party. If not, the officer said, Ahmed would be sent to the front. A small opportunity to defy the regime had presented itself. "What," replied Ahmed, "are all those people up there defending the country not party members?" The officer seemed nonplused at his impertinence and told him to shut up.

Ahmed says he spent five wasted years at the front, but never had to fight the Iranians. In 1988, when the cease-fire was announced, he and his comrades emptied their rifles into the air in celebration.

The conflict was pointless, he says. "The only effect of the war was dead bodies." Iran acknowledged that nearly 300,000 people died in the war; estimates of the Iraqi dead range from 160,000 to 240,000.

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