Today's courtship: white teeth, root beer, and e-mail?

Now that Valentine's Day is here, a few of those niggling questions about relationships can be resolved. Like this one: What's one thing a lot of women look for in a man? A long résumé? A fancy car?

Nope. It's white teeth.

That's right, three-fourths of women say pearly whites are a key to attraction - a detail available at this time of year because no question is too obscure for pollsters to ask men and women about when "heart day" is at hand.

Did we mention that the white-teeth question was asked by a power-toothbrush maker?

To make the trek through the romantic wilderness easier, companies measure everything from how people meet to what women want as gifts. (This year, guys, they'd prefer something sentimental, rather than lingerie.)

The onslaught of opinions is enough to send romantics back to the less-complicated days of parlor chats and parental consent. At this rate, that may be just around the corner for beleaguered daters.

"Life was very simple when everybody knew what the rules were," says Robert Billingham, professor of human development and family studies at Indiana University. "These kind of surveys ...just confuse people."

And things are already confusing enough, what with the uncertainty of who should pay for the meal and what method should be used for asking a person out - online or phone line.

Those who offer advice on dating say courtship isn't dead, but it isn't as clearly defined as it used to be - with everything from getting lunch to living together potentially qualifying.

Modern wooing offers alternatives and devices for communicating that weary some, and empower others. Some experts even argue that all this gadgetry has limited our ability to communicate.

"A lot of people are using e-mail to ask people out," says Gilda Carle, a relationship and dating expert. It may be perfect for those who are shy or fear rejection, she says, "but it takes away the personal touch."

Perhaps, but not all the face time is gone.

Consider the automobile - one of the first gadgets to revolutionize dating decades ago. These days it is used as a place to propose marriage and to flirt while driving, according to a survey by an online auto service. But watch out ladies and gentlemen, that same study also measured the top excuses used to get a date alone in a car, including "getting lost," "engine trouble," and the classic, "out of gas."

For some, the car holds fond memories. Keith Barkley of Johnstown, Pa., says when he courted his wife more than two decades ago, "I always used to like just getting in the car and driving."

But he felt it was important to get out of it when he came to collect his gal. "I was the only boyfriend my wife had who came to the door. Everybody else would pull up, beep the horn, and the girl would run out. It's kind of like that now," he says, recalling how his daughter's suitors have acted.

While many couples still head for dinner and a movie, some dating-doyens say it's time to try something new.

Page: 1 | 2