A mosque opens its doors, and a conversation

The topic under discussion this week: gender relations in Islam. It's one about which many visitors are skeptical. A handful of attendees are Muslim, a few others have studied Islam, but the great majority have never been to a mosque, and many are hearing about Islamic culture and beliefs from Muslim teachers for the first time.

The couple begins by addressing some common questions about women in Islam: from marriage to divorce to polygamy.

As Useem explains the traditional Muslim marriage contract, a legal document in which a couple agrees on underlying assumptions for their married life - such as whether the wife will work and whether the relationship will be monogamous - a visitor comments: "Oh! Like a prenup."

Divorce is allowed, Useem explains, but as a last resort, after many trial separations. Polygamy is an option for men, if their marriage contracts allow, but not for women.

"That doesn't seem fair," remarks an older man in the back row. "I was married to a feminist for years, and I can tell you, she wouldn't have gone for that."

Throughout their presentation, Hvitfeldt and Useem invite visitors to respond or ask questions. Often, even when they've answered these with examples from their own lives and marriage, the crowd, though polite, seems less than satisfied. Questions hang in the room: "If women are equal to men in their relationship to God, why do they have to pray behind a screen, or against a wall?"

Sometimes Muslim audience members also respond to visitors' questions. Over the course of the evening, as the class becomes more conversational, its value emerges not so much from the questions it answers, but from the interaction between Muslim and non-Muslim community members that it facilitates.

That, Lisa Schneier says, is the reason she came. "I was disturbed by the things I'd been hearing about how Muslims were being treated after Sept. 11th. So I wanted to learn about the religion, and also, in a supportive sense, to make contact with some Muslims locally."

Hvitfeldt says another of the ISB's intentions in sponsoring the class was to open its space to visitors: "A lot of people who came to our open house seemed like they needed an invitation to come here, like they never felt they had the opportunity before. They would have been welcome anytime, but not knowing what to do during the prayer, it can be awkward."

It also can be awkward for a community of faith to open its doors to nonmembers. "That's why we try to let people know about things like acceptable dress," he adds. "But a lot of it is also just being patient with people who don't know what our rules are. They're obviously here to learn, and that's what we were hoping for."

E-mail wiltenburgm@csmonitor.com.

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