'Why do they hate us?'

In 1989, the Libyan government enlisted the help of Ramsey Clark, an attorney general during the Carter administration, to file a lawsuit against President Ronald Reagan and British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher for the civilian deaths during the air raids. "When Clark came to collect our documents and evidence, I asked him if he thought we had a case," Bassem recalls. "He said 'Oh, definitely. This was murder.' "

But US district court judge Thomas Penfield Jackson disagreed. He dismissed the suit, and fined Clark for presenting a "frivolous" case that "offered no hope whatsoever of success."

Twelve years later, the court's decision still rankles with Bassem. "I will only return to America when I know someone will listen to me and say: 'yes, it was our fault your daughter died, and I am sorry.' So long as they think my daughter's death is 'frivolous,' I won't go back," Bassem says.

The Ghusseins have no sympathy for religious extremism and thoroughly condemn the Sept. 11 suicide bombings in New York and Washington. Yet they both maintain that the devastating attack was a result of America's "arrogant" policies in the Middle East and elsewhere. "We wish the American people could see what their governments are doing in the rest of the world," Saniya says.

On the other side of Asia, in Pakistan, Air Commodore Haider would sympathize with the Ghusseins' wish. He has always been a friend of the United States, and not just because he enjoyed the 10 years he spent in Washington as his country's military attaché. Like most other members of the ruling elite in Pakistan, in the armed forces, in business, and in the political parties, he sees America as a natural ally.

But not a reliable one.

The prevailing mood in Pakistan of anger and suspicion toward the United States springs from a deeply rooted perception that the US has been a fickle friend, Haider says, and not just to Pakistan, but to other nations in the Muslim world.

If there was a moment of betrayal for Haider, it was the 1965 war between India and Pakistan, largely over the future of Kashmir. As Indian tanks advanced on the Pakistani metropolis of Lahore, Haider was head of a squadron of F-86 Sabre jets sent to destroy them. India's Soviet allies helped with money, arms, and diplomatic support. But at a crucial moment, Pakistan's ally, the US, refused to send more weapons. As it turned out, Pakistan was able to defeat the Indian attack on Lahore and elsewhere without US help. Haider's squadron decimated the column of Indian tanks that had reached to within six miles of Lahore. But the lesson lingered: America cannot be trusted.

"There is a feeling of being betrayed, it's a feeling of being let down, and you can only be let down by somebody you care for," says Haider, out for an evening stroll in a tony Islamabad neighborhood.

"They said you will be the bulwark of America and of the free world against Communism. But then they dropped a friend for no good reason."

Today, Haider sees a "convergence of interests" between the United States and Pakistan in the fight against terrorism. But he says that President Bush will need to watch his language when he talks about the Muslim world. "When Bush talked of a Crusade ... it was not a slip of the tongue. It was a mindset. When they talk of terrorism, the only thing they have in mind is Islam."

Ultimately, Haider does see a way for America and Muslim nations to become lasting friends, but only if the US begins to give as much weight to the interests of Muslim nations as it does to Israel.

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