Parents talk with kids about terrorism

Ed Cafasso Boston

I picked up my 8-year-old son, Henry, after school on the day the attacks took place. His social-studies teacher had already explained the events quite well, but he was still confused on one point. "Mom," he said, "the plane crashed into a pentagon ... or maybe it was a hexagon."

Anne Lewis Houston

I am the mother of 5- and 7-year-olds. We watched the news together on Tuesday, Sept. 11. I wanted them to see our president speaking to the United States citizens, so that they could try to understand our government's leadership and ability to defend and protect our country's freedom and beliefs. We said prayers for all the civilians who lost their lives. They wanted to know who was responsible, and we told them we did not know. We didn't want to guess, which would only promote prejudice toward certain groups.

Carol Foster Poway, Calif.

Our two oldest children were surprisingly quiet about the attack. My initial sense was that they did not hear about the news. But when my wife and I spoke to them at bedtime, my son, who's 6, told us that his school had held an assembly about it. He said that as administrators spoke, he cupped his hands over his ears so he couldn't hear them. We told him that there are some people who do bad things, but that most people in the world are nice. He seemed to take some solace in that. My daughter, age 5, seemed less attuned to the events. But during prayers, while blessing relatives and friends, she said, "And bless the airplanes."

Andy Baron Massachusetts

My wife and children, age 4 and 1-1/2, are in Israel, where we have lived for eight years, while I look for work in the US. My children have been exposed to constant terrorist threats there, and have been forced to grow up faster than usual as a result. Age is not a barrier to communication about these matters. Of course, we talk more with my daughter, who is older, than my son, but we are forced to talk with both of them. They know children who have been killed in bombings, parents who have been lost in reserve duty, and they have their own gas masks, required in Israel after a child's birth. I tell them they are safe and protected. My daughter saw the World Trade Center buildings on TV and was worried about me. I talk with her often by phone and comfort her. The more parents communicate with their children about the situation as they support and reassure them, the better. Children know we love them, but we need to keep expressing it.

Charles Harris

Orange County, Calif.

If you'd like to share recent conversations you've had with your children about terrorism, please e-mail wolcottj@csps.com.

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