My plan to avoid the Super Bowl

You probably know already that the six most-watched TV shows of all time are Super Bowls. Last year 133 million Americans watched.

Each year when the Minnesota Vikings again fail to make it to the big game, I vow to avoid the whole thing. To this end, this year I have constructed my alternative viewing schedule, my own "Super Bowl-free Sunday" of TV:

2 p.m. Pregame coverage heats up on Fox. Instead, I watch "CNN World Report" to catch up on important events, my "eat your spinach first" viewing strategy.

3 p.m. Sure "Charlotte's Web" (1973) on the Family Channel is a cartoon, but, admit it, wasn't it your favorite children's story too? Besides, I can break away at any time to check on those crazy antics in the town of Mayberry during the "Andy Griffith Marathon" (TBS) that runs all day.

5 p.m. I'll go with "Double Dragon" (1994), a fantasy movie on USA starring that scary guy (Robert Patrick) from "Terminator 2" and "The Faculty." Of course, a little after 6 p.m. I may have to peek at Cher singing the pregame national anthem: She promises to have taken singing lessons and to be modestly clothed.

7 p.m. National Geographic's "Bali, Masterpiece of the Gods" on PBS. A visit to someplace far off like Indonesia is bound to make me forget football....

8 p.m. Those guys on "60 Minutes" (CBS) rarely disappoint me.

9 p.m. "Masterpiece Theater" (PBS)? "Touched by an Angel" (CBS)? Hmmm. It oughtta be the fourth quarter. Maybe I'll just click over for peek at the score. I wonder if that new Apple ad with Hal the sinister computer from "2001: A Space Odyssey" has run yet? I better wait and see....

*Send your comments to entertainment@csps.com

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